This is a perfect example of why I fail at being girly.
I saw this nail polish on Pinterest that someone labeled as "best coral color by Essie". But when I went to click on the source site, I was led to a broken url. Oh well I thought, I'll just Google "coral nail polish by Essie" and boy was I wrong. Instead, I was basically punched in the face with a ridiculous amount of coral color options.
Silly Stacey, didn't you know there are 500 million freakin' options for coral nail polish?!?!
What the hell is "Carousel Coral"? Could you show me where you got your inspiration? "Shop till I drop"?? Wouldn't that be more of a blood red?? This makes me believe that the Crayola Crayon namers also work part time for Essie. Or that I picked the wrong job because hell, I could name nail polish colors if all I had to do was make up a random string of words and slap it on a nail polish bottle. I bet I could make a killing off of "Cubicle Red" or "I Picked the Wrong Major Pink"?
And it's this same color dilemma that causes me to suffer a minor panic attack when I get a professional manicure.
"WAH CALAH YOU WAHN?"
"Uhh... just a second, I'm trying to figure out which shade a pink ...uh *draws blank*stares at bottles*mumbles* uh... speaks to me?"
"PICK CALAH AND SET IN CHAIH FAVE"
*Holding 3 bottles of pink* "Uh sure"
"ONE CALAH TWENTAY DOLLAH. TREE COLOR $100"
*Wait $100? I don't even know what she's talking about. ohh..* "No no, I just want one color. I just can't decide."
"SET IN CHAIH FAVE."
*At this point, my mind has completely shut down and all rationale decision making is out the window. Sweat starts pouring down my forehead while I unknowingly put away all three pink polishes and only to blindly grab an obnoxious neon orange color I don't even like. And it isn't until she actually painting my nails with this god awful color that I realize what's going on.* "Dammit. It happened again."